By Patricia Lynn Denning

When your brain breaks, for whatever reason, your life changes. It might be from a spontaneous subdural hemorrhage, as it was in my case. It might be from a stroke, a car accident, or some other unexpected event. Whatever the cause, life afterward can be difficult.

You may lose the ability to do things you’ve always taken for granted, like driving, cooking, or working. You might have physical difficulties with walking or talking. Or, as in my case, you might have cognitive problems.

Physically, I was fine. But my thinking ability was compromised in so many ways. I couldn’t work in my chosen profession, and honestly, I was depressed. Very depressed. For quite a while.

The interesting thing is that I didn’t even realize I was depressed for a long time. I couldn’t put a name to what I was feeling.

So, how do you get happy again after a brain injury?

Well, there’s no single answer to that question. Everyone is different, and I certainly can’t presume to know what will make someone else happy. But I can tell you what worked for me.

And folks, this isn’t rocket science. It’s really just common sense—things we should probably all be doing, whether we’re recovering from a brain injury or not.

 

Stop Worrying

Okay, I know. Easier said than done!

But I really worked on mindfulness and meditation. When I felt anxious or frightened about my future, I tried to recognize what was happening and redirect my thoughts toward something positive.

Sometimes I would think about the progress I was making. Maybe I was finding words a little more easily than I had a month earlier. Or maybe I hadn’t gotten lost driving home that week.

Those were big accomplishments for me, and I celebrated them!

Other times, when I was feeling particularly scared or down, I’d take myself somewhere nice in my imagination. Usually an empty beach, with the sound of the waves and the ocean breeze.  I’ve always loved the ocean.  

Over time, I learned how to curate my mood. That’s what I call it.

It didn’t happen overnight. In fact, it took me about eight years to really get the hang of it. But I came to believe that happiness, at least to some extent, is a choice. I learned that even when I couldn’t control what was happening in my life, I could often influence how I responded to it.

And I love having that power over my own thoughts!

 

Eat Healthy

I also made some big changes to my diet.

Our bodies need good nutrition to function properly, and our brains are certainly no exception. I figured that if I wanted my brain to work as well as possible, I ought to give it some decent fuel.

So I cut out most added sugars and refined carbohydrates and started eating lots of vegetables, fruits, and berries. I wasn’t following any special miracle diet. I was just trying to eat healthier.

And I noticed that when I ate well, my brain seemed sharper. Whether that was entirely because of my diet, I couldn’t tell you. But I liked how I felt, so I kept doing it.

 

Get Some Sleep!

I take my sleep very seriously.

Our brains need sleep, particularly when we’re trying to recover from an injury. Sleep plays an important role in memory, learning, and overall brain health.

So I decided to make my bedroom as comfortable as possible.

Good pillows. Comfortable sheets. Blackout curtains so the morning sun wouldn’t wake me before I was ready.

I made it a point to get eight hours of sleep every night.

And I still do!

 

Turn Up the Music

This one is interesting.

After my brain injury, I somehow lost the music in my world.

I had always loved music, but suddenly I had no interest in listening to it. I didn’t even realize how much I was missing until I started enjoying it again.

And boy, did I enjoy finding it!

Now, I put music on as soon as I wake up in the morning. I dance around the house while I’m making the bed, brushing my teeth, or just doing whatever needs to be done.

Happy, upbeat music makes me feel happy. It’s that simple.

I’m no scientist, but there has been plenty of research into the benefits of music for mood and well-being.

All I know is that when I’ve got good music playing, it’s pretty hard for me to stay in a bad mood!

Get Moving

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not a big fan of exercise.

Running? No thanks.

Gym equipment? Not particularly interested.

Even going for a walk just for the sake of walking doesn’t excite me much.

But dancing? Oh, I can do that!

I put on my happy music and dance, dance, dance. Sometimes I get thousands of steps in without ever leaving my house.

And the best part? It doesn’t feel like exercise because I’m having fun.

We all know that physical activity is good for us, both physically and mentally. I just happen to prefer getting mine with a little rhythm!

 

Finding Happiness Again

So, there you have it. Nothing terribly complicated.

I learned to pay attention to my thoughts, eat healthier, get plenty of sleep, enjoy my music, and move my body.

None of these things magically fixed my damaged brain. And I certainly didn’t wake up one morning and decide that I was never going to feel depressed again.

It took time. A lot of time.

But little by little, I began to feel better. I started enjoying things again. I found myself laughing more, worrying less, and looking forward to what each new day might bring.

I know that depression after a brain injury can be complicated, and sometimes professional help is necessary. I saw a therapist a few times, and those visits helped me understand something important: I probably couldn’t adapt my new brain to my old life. Instead, I needed to adapt my life to my new brain.

That was a moment of clarity for me. Once I understood that, all these little changes I was making began to fall into place. I wasn’t trying to get my old life back anymore. I was learning how to be happy in the life I had now.

These days, I make a conscious effort to choose the things that make me happy. And I like to think I’ve gotten pretty good at it!

Life isn’t always going to be easy. Mine certainly hasn’t been. But I’ve learned that even when life doesn’t turn out the way we planned, there can still be an awful lot to be happy about.

And if you’re struggling right now, I hope you’ll find those things, too. And if you need a little help along the way, don’t be afraid to ask your doctor for a referral to a counselor.

 

Never give up hope.